Recently, during an expert pool meeting in one of the municipalities in the Netherlands, a man came to us with a request: "My daughter was born, but my name is not included in the father's field. I have contacted the municipality several times, but I have not received a solution to my request."
Other participants actively engaged with this situation and also began to share their experiences, with the answer "no, this is not possible" being heard quite often.
By: Anna Bilenka
Anna Bilenka, our hostess & researcher, also an immigrant with lived experience, shared the success formula in communicating with municipal representatives, and this experience was positively received. So we're sharing it with you too!
Be very direct and to the point
Understandably, we come from different countries and the level of emotional expression varies from country to country. So when speaking to a church representative, try to keep it to dry facts so as not to overwhelm the person and remain clear in your request.
Prepare specific examples
It is very appropriate if you provide specific examples in addition to your request, to illustrate your points. This allows the representative to draw conclusions about the situation. For example, do not say "I was very upset by this situation," but say, "I have had to visit the municipality three times in the past and still no one has given a specific answer to my question."
Come up with suggestions for solutions
As with a visit to the doctor, the community representative will likely ask how you plan to resolve your request, so be prepared for this. Think of some suggestions for solutions and prepare them in advance.
Avoid getting lost in the details
It is best to come up with one request at a time. Or immediately say, "I have three questions for this meeting, here they are. Let's start with the first one". This way you create a conversation structure that makes it easier for all participants to navigate.
Avoid complaining
No one likes to hear negative feedback. And it's even worse to get negative feedback for someone else's work. It is understandable that your experience is not very positive, since you are already in this place reading this material. But try to rise above the situation and see that not always the person sitting in front of you is responsible for the whole situation. Usually it's a question to the whole system and in front of you is a person trying to bridge the gap between the system and the individual.
Don't underestimate yourself
There is a belief among newcomers that if someone works at the municipality (or at institutions somewhere), he or she is better. In fact, the Netherlands is (or at least strives to be) an equal society, so don't underestimate yourself. Your experience is just as important as that of the person sitting in front of you. Communication in Holland is horizontal - where everyone is equal, and hierarchies are not that important.
We hopen dat dit nuttig voor je was en je zal helpen om je weg te vinden in het systeem in Nederland. Schrijf over je ervaring met de gemeente, deel het materiaal met degenen die ondersteuning nodig hebben bij deze interactie. En als je vragen of suggesties hebt, kun je altijd schrijven naar anna@openembassy.nl.
